In a little over an hour, I'm going to go talk to a neighbor about my relationship with God. And I'm scared.
Honestly, it was a pretty confusing year. It wasn't the changes or the struggles so much. But the way God showed up.
I feel like I've been given this huge gift...and I've been throwing rotten eggs at it or...or...something.
So tonight I'm going to talk with my neighbor.
I wonder, will she think I'm totally off my rocker?
It was so hard...picking up the phone..."Hi, it's me from next door...How are the grandkids? Could we chat sometime about...about God?"
I wonder why it's so hard to ask for help, admit we are weak? I wonder why it's so, so hard to admit we need help in our relationship with God?
Sometimes I let Our relationship suffer, and all my relationships suffer as a result, just because I don't want to admit how much I'm hurting...and I don't want to bother anybody.
But isn't it worth it? Isn't it worth it for a husband, a wife, a child? And how much more so to be close to the God of the universe? His heart longs for us, breaks for us...and He rejoices as we draw near, as a father rejoices for a long lost son.
5 comments:
how is the neighbor?
blogs are a major way for me to be able to communicate with other believers on a regular basis.
i really appreciate it.
Thank you, Nancy. I appreciate your fellowship.
It was good to talk with the neighbor. Sometimes I know that God wants me to talk with someone...maybe just ask someone to pray for me...sometimes something more specific, like talking about a problem or struggle I am having. I hate doing that. I'm so so so shy...But in the end, I guess I'm always glad that I did it. Maybe not right at first (I remember one time when I tried to talk to my pastor, and I got so nurvous I had a panic attack right there. Man, I could've sunk into the floor I was so embarrased!!!) But in the end, it seems like as we reach out--in our weaknesses, strengths, and stumblings--God is there reaching back. And I have been blessed by the way you do that through your blog.
The Walk,
I can be scared in certain ways, since to reach out in relationship requires vulnerability, and means one can be hurt. With God we won't be hurt, and will be hurt. We'll never be the same, it being the kind of hurt we need, at the center of which is God's love. I do tend to think something like that.
But I like your post since relationships are really at the heart of what life is about. And that means no easy formulas, though for relationships to be real it must begin with our relationship with God- love to him and from that to our neighbor as ourselves.
Thanks for stirring us on this.
Thanks so much Ted for your thoughtful, encouraging words. What you wrote here reminds me of C.S. Lewis' Voyage of the Dawn Treador, where the boy Eustace has been turned into a dragon by his greed. He keeps trying and trying to scratch off his dragon scales, but he just stays the same. Then Aslan tears off his skin. It hurts, stings...and he is a boy again. I guess that's how it is with God sometimes. It is so much harder, in some ways, than just trying to have a "nice" life--a decent job, a house...but in the end, it's worth it.
Thank you for your comment. Your blogging has taught me much about what community means.
Excellent post.
I want you to know I have added your blog to my favorites. I want to invite you anytime to visit my blog. I pray and hope that you have a wonderful 2008.
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