How honest do you think a person should be?

Have you ever been dismissed or discharged, or have you resigned in order to avoid discipline or discharge by any employer?

Thank You

To everyone who was so kind and supportive.

Things are going a lot better.

My mom's doing well.

I'm excited about finding a new job.

My Quarter-Life Crisis

I used to think it happened all at once.
One day you're a kid.
You laugh.
You cry.
You say the wrong thing.

And then you grow up.

But meeting with Pastor was tough.
And Mom's having surgery.
And today I found out that Boss was trying to fire me.
And I wanted to cry again.
To say the wrong thing.

It was hard to smile and say
"I'd like to just move on, thanks.
I want to do what's best for us both."

But I know I grew up a little bit more today.

Quote of the Moment

"What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing; it also depends on what sort of person you are."
C. S. Lewis

Invisibility and Being Seen

We all want to be seen for who we are, and loved anyway.
Some people say that the story of the woman at the well is about being seen. Recognized. He wasn't shaming her. He knew who she was, what she'd done...and He treated her with love, kindness, respect.

I hate it when people can't see past my shyness or my old shoes and messy hair. I hate it when they can't see past my limitations.

But this past week I had a meeting with my pastor. I was terrified. I couldn't think. I could barely even talk!

And I was reminded again. It is not just our weaknesses that hide who we are, that make us invisible. Our strengths can blind people to us as well.

Random Thought

I was thinking of moving to rural Wyoming
But last night I got my taxes post marked at 9 pm
Maybe I should stay in the city

The Stories We Wear

Have you ever seen someone and just instantly liked him, instantly trusted him?

Have you ever known a person and the way he looked at you just made you shiver?

I went to see my friend and mentor today, RSL. She is an amazing, giving person, and something about her inspires me.

Today she asked me a question that caught me by surprise. Though it probably shouldn't have. She's the second person in the past few weeks to ask. I wondered how she knew. Was it that obvious?

Her question reminded me of how we can live between two worlds, but we can't really become two people.

the time we spend on our knees
the pain we absorb
our secret sins
the choices we make
the words we choose

They sometimes come out clear and sharp-edged, like a photo in a newspaper. More often, they weave together in a complex tapestry. Our joys and sorrows, weaknesses and strengths. Our stories. They touch every aspect of our lives, each part of our universe affecting the others.

"When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus."

The story of our lives can show that we have been with Jesus.
And I hope that in my tapestry, I can live and love in such a way that I learn to let Him show through.

Between two Worlds

Do you ever feel like you live between two, or three, or more worlds?

Things will be falling apart at home, but you wear a cheerful face at work.

You've just been given a scary diagnosis, but you know you can't tell anyone around you.

You're homeless, but do a really good job of blending in at work or school.

You're pregnant.

You're not perfect.

You know what I mean.

"He stabbed a knife into our kitchen wall. His hand slipped. Gashed his fingers. Cut a tendon. Gonna need surgery."

Actually, she thought it was pretty funny in its own way. That was so totally like him. Fire and ice, sweet and sour, ever the one to go crazy in an argument and end up in the hospital.

But her co-workers weren't laughing.

As they stared at her in stunned surprise, she knew her story hadn't hit quite right. And she wasn't sure if she should have told it at all.

Is it better to be noticed or overlooked, to be understood or blend in, to be remembered or forgotten?

I suppose these are questions we all struggle with at times. But they often bring me back to something deeper. God knows what it is to be misunderstood, overlooked, and forgotten. He knows what it is to be falsely accused and alone. God knows what it is to be an Invisible Man.

God knows the story of every homeless man who pretends to live in a cute yellow house with a white picket fence. He deeply loves every teenage girl who has a child of her own. And as we try to remember the enormous price He paid as He bled and died, I am grateful that he bled for me, as well.

Leap Year

There was a guy in my graduating class, Tyler, who was born on February 29th. So he could only celebrate his birthday on his actual birth date once every four years.

Let's see...if I were born on the leap year, I'd have a birthday once every four years...so if I took my age and divided that by four, that would mean I was only 6 years old now!

Youth seems to matter a lot in our society. And yet I learn so much from my older friends--people who've walked the paths I'm still approaching and crossed the bridges I have yet to stumble over.

Like Simeon, Anna, and so many other people in the Bible, it seems as if God often does His greatest work not in confused, enthusiastic young people, but in the quiet faithful work of those who are often overlooked by society.

This is the day, every four years when, without fail, I find myself imagining "What would it be like if I were younger?"

But today I also wanted to take a moment to imagine "What would it be like if I were older?" I am blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful examples of amazing godly people--from the young retirees at my church to my frail grandmother. I hope that as I grow I will continue to have many opportunities to learn from people like them.