Reformation Day

Yesterday was Reformation Day.

"I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God."

Martin Luther fascinates me...

What is your favorite Martin Luther quote, and why?

God is God (pt. 2)

I'm a perfectionist. It seems like such a Christian thing to be. To always be loving and kind always all the time...to never get angry...to never fall short in any way.

And then I mess up and feel guilty and horrible. It's the right thing to do, isn't it? To beat myself up?

I wear myself out trying to be perfect. Trying to be my own savior.

Lately I've been realizing little by little that I try to live out of my own strength. I try to forgive on my own. Try to love on my own. Try to repent on my own. Try to find God on my own.

Only through Christ am I able to love, to trust, to forgive...only through Him am I able to know Him.

God is God...I am not.

God Is God

This song, by Steven Curtis Chapman, touched both my heart and mind. I hope it will inspire you as well.

For those of you who are pastors, etc...

I find myself leaning a lot on church staff these days.
What makes a "good" congregant?
How do I know if I am being overly demanding?
I know you care about all of your congregants, but I also know you have a lot on your plates. Are there things I should or should not do?

Update

I haven't written in a long time I guess.
But I am always very grateful for your comments.
They mean a lot.

I have been visiting my aunt.
She is an amazing person, an amazing listener.
It felt so good to tell, and tell, and tell her my stories.
To feel known.

I went to the ocean one day with her to meet with God.
I prayed and prayed, and sang and sang.
And then a stillness.

As I walked along the beach, I looked down, and there in the sand was a bracelet.
A brown bracelet with wooden beads.
Aunt said it was like God had given it to me.

I slipped on the bracelet and also picked up a little square rock, an igneous rock, and put it in my pocket.
Before my time with Aunt was over, we visited a labrinth, a labrinth where people leave their prayers and special things for God. I wrote a prayer on my rock and left it there for Him.

He gave me a bracelet.
I gave Him a rock.
Although like all gifts we try to give Him, it was really His in the first place.

Reflections on Hope

At first I didn't know why I was panicking. The traffic wasn't bad. I wasn't running late. And then I realized.

I was afraid to tell her about what happened. Horribly, deathly afraid. It seems like so much of my time is spent being the good Christian girl. Or the good co-worker. Or the friendly neighbor.

And I wanted so much to tell her about my secret, about my pain. But I was afraid. I felt like I was chocking.

So I vowed not to say anything about it.

I was still thinking about that drive later that afternoon at church.

I thought about how it is so, so difficult to take all the broken little pieces of our lives and turn them into a complete whole. We are a smiling face and a handshake, or the man with the old car. We are the person at the unemployment office, or on one end or another of a rape-crisis hot-line. We are smart and talented, or broken and suffering. But never complete, never all those things all at once.

And so I stood there trying to pray, trying to sing. And I prayed for healing.

And then God taught me something.
He is Love, purely and perfectly. And somehow He is able to take our broken secrets, my broken wounds, and transform them into something beautiful.
He is able to make sense of our past and transform it into hope for the future.

No one's story is too frightening, too broken, too hopeless when washed in the Love of God.

Self-Discipline

It's funny how easy it is to fall into bad habits. I don't mean robbing banks or stealing candy from babies. But just letting the "little stuff" slide.

For me, it's been staying up late (like, until 2) and getting up really late.

Not really a huge deal...except I don't get much done at 2 in the morning.

And it drives my family crazy.

And when I do have something to do first thing in the morning, like teaching Sunday School, I know I'm not running on all four cylinders.

So...I've decided to stop letting the little stuff go.

I'll have more self-discipline.

Right after my next piece of chocolate.

How honest do you think a person should be?

Have you ever been dismissed or discharged, or have you resigned in order to avoid discipline or discharge by any employer?

Thank You

To everyone who was so kind and supportive.

Things are going a lot better.

My mom's doing well.

I'm excited about finding a new job.